Crit...

I found this post on the WOW Rogue forums, compiled my favorite ones, and am posting it because....ROFL. Thank you to Darkintent on Bleeding Hollow for starting it and thank you to all the toons who added to it.

When I crit...

When I crit on dismatle all my weapons disappeared...even the ones in my bank -Darkintent on Bledding Hollow
i crit on blind, stevie wonder came and slapped me like a h#$-Sizzaz on Gorefiend
I crit vigor and I orgasm'd. Arbsfan on Skywall
I crit on Hunger for Blood and was transformed into a vampire Darkintent on Bleeding Hollow
I crit distract and the mob went afk. - Arbsfan on Skywall
Neilyo crit on vanish, and deathcoil was removed from the game Sizzaz on Gorefiend
I crit on vanish, and it worked - Santamaycry on Frostwolf
I crit on backstab and stabbed in the front. Darkintent on Bleeding Hollow
I crit on sprint and turned back time. -Lock on Hellscream
I crit on killing spree and hit myself - Santamaycry on Frostwolf
I crit on feint and the threat level of the country went to orange -Darkintent on Bleeding Hollow
I crit on pickpocket, and the National Debt counter ran out of numbers. -Niren on Ravencrest
I crit Mind Flay and forgot 9/11. -Gravehunger on Rising Leigion
I crit on blind... and learned piano. -Lienuss on Shu'halo
I crit shadow dance and turned into Andy Gibb. - Stalia on Laughing Skull
I crit on Sprint and turned it into T-mobile. -Darkintent on Bleeding Hollow
I crit on Master of Deception and turned into David Copperfield -Darkintent on Bleeding Hollow
I Crit on Killing Spree and found myself in Jail - Shankem on Coilfang
I crit my sammich while I afk'd for S2 MH + OH - Subparcorpse- on Dalvengyr
I crit on Kick and Chuck Norris made facts about me - Warbunz on Mannoroth
I crit on Shiv and Oz was taken off the air. - Creepinfoo on Kil'Jaeden
I crit in Evasion and never had to pay taxes again. - Goumi on Tichondrius
I crit on ghostly strike and now I'm stuck in spirit form - Insanity on Alterac Mountains
I crit on cut to the chase... and it burns when I pee. - Lepricano on Kel'Thuzad
I crit a girl and I liked it. -Snacks on Aerie Peak (added on request)

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

A co-worker sent this to me in an email.   I am not sure where it originated from but I love it:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or play with it,

Just pee on it and walk away.

Rogue Suggestions for patch 3.0 and WOTLK

As of yet, there is not much known about how to best use the new rogue talents. I have put together some preliminary suggestions, but you can expect more concrete details to come. Things to keep in mind

• We are doing more than raiding now, we are leveling
  
• We will earn more talent points was we level
• Use the target dummies to test out your dps.
• Surviving a fight is more important that the damage meter.  If you die you will never reach the top.

Versailes talents at level 70

Versailes talents at level 80

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assassination Tree
The new hype is mutilate/dagger spec in the Assassination tree. This tree is for daggers, but has some useful talents for all such as Malice and Vigor. For daggers, get Hunger for Blood, or at least Mutilate (which you can now use in front of the target.) Improved Eviscerate is good for short fights, but overall Rupture does more damage, so I will be skipping this talent. Grab Puncture Wounds only to pair it with Mutilate. Also select any talent that improves crit, combo points, or energy. As for now, rogues are not excited about Deadly Brew, but try it out if you like, I will.
Rotation for the Assassination build should be something like the following:

1. Hunger for bloodx3 (if you have it-used while in stealth) 
2. Garrote
3. Mut (or shiv with Shiv glyph)
   
4. SnD
   
5. Mut until 5 points
   
6. Rupture
   
7. Envenom when Snd is about to time out (if you have points in Cut to the Chase)
   
8. Keep up HfB and Snd at all times.
   

Glyph Options:

• Glyph - Slice and Dice: Increases the duration of Slice and Dice by 3 sec. 
  
• Glyph - Rupture - Increases the duration of Rupture by 5 sec.
  
• Glyph - Shiv - Reduces the energy cost of Shiv by -5 
  
• Glyph - Garrote - Increases periodic damage dealt by Garrote by 45%, but decreases the duration by 3 sec.
  
• Glyph - Crippling Poison - Increases the chance to trigger Crippling Poison by 10%.
  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Combat Tree
Those staying combat swords/fist/maces will want 5/51/5 at 70. Alternatively 7/43/11 will be good for leveling. And yes I said maces!! Mace Specialization no longer stuns, it increases crit damage, making it more viable for combat rogues. If you are going combat make sure to grab Vigor in the assassination tree to help with all the great energy regenerations in the Combat tree.
The normal combat rotation is the following:

1. Garrote
   
2. SS
   
3. SnD
4. SS until 5 points
5. Rupture
   
6. Keep up SnD at all times
   
7. Blade furry when with more than mob
   

Glyph options:

• Glyph - Slice and Dice: Increases the duration of Slice and Dice by 3 sec. 
  
• Glyph - Rupture - Increases the duration of Rupture by 5 sec.
  
• Glyph - Garrote - Increases periodic damage dealt by Garrote by 45%, but decreases the duration by 3 sec.
  
• Glyph - Crippling Poison - Increases the chance to trigger Crippling Poison by 10%.
  
• Glyph - Expose Armor - Increases the duration of Expose Armor by 10 sec (for leveling)
  
• Glyph - Adrenaline Rush - Decreases the cool down of Adrenaline Rush by 60 sec.
  
• Glyph - Sinister Strike - Your Sinister Strike critical strikes have a 40% chance to add an additional combo point.
  
• Glyph - Blade Flurry - Reduces the energy cost of Blade Flurry by 100%.
  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subtlety
Subtlety is mostly for pvp, but has some good talents for leveling like Master of Deception, Dirty Tricks, and Camouflage. Maybe someone else can help me out with the pvp spec since it is not my forte. Maces uses to be a favorite of pvp rogues because of the stun from Mace Specialization, but that talent no longer stuns it increases crit damage-sorry pvp’ers

Glyph Options:

• Glyph - Sinister Strike - Your Sinister Strike critical strikes have a 40% chance to add an additional combo point.
  
• Glyph - Eviscerate - Increases the critical strike chance of Eviscerate by 10%.
  
• Glyph - Expose Armor - Increases the duration of Expose Armor by 10 sec.
  
• Glyph - Feint - Reduces the energy cost of Feint by -10.
  
• Glyph - Sap - Increases the duration of Sap by 10 sec.
  
• Glyph - Evasion - Increases the duration of Evasion by 5 sec.
  

Glpyh info from wowwiki

12 Reasons why Rogues are the best lovers

We don’t just fall asleep straight after (Quick Recovery)
We have staying power (Vigor and Endurance)
We can find the “right spot” for any partner (Find Weakness)
We are very good with our hands (Dual Wield Spec and Sleight of Hands)
We know all the Dirty Tricks
We are aware that Preparation and Setup are fundamental
We have an uncanny predisposition to undress our partner (Expose Armor)
Have some kind of “problem” in the bedroom? No worries, we can provide solutions with our knowledge of poisons and herbs
We are ready at every Opportunity
We have an instant protection against deseases (Cloak of Shadow)
We often take the Initiative
And last in the list but certainly not in importance… Rogues do it from behind

Originated Paused State by azande

Kara Suggestions

Player 1
How did you like your Kara run? You can view the stats on cb.guildportal.com under the Kara forums. I thought I would give you a suggestion on improving your DPS, but as always play as you like. Instead of using Eviscerate use Slice and Dice first, it will give your off hand weapon more attacks which equals more damage. Also try Blade Furry when attacking more than one mob. Doesn’t look like you got any new loot, but maybe next time :D

Player 2
Grats on your new mace! I looked at your Kara stats on the cb.guildportal.com under the Kara forums and have another suggestion. Your Shiv hits for only 225 damage; when your Sinister Strike hits for 472 so you should use it instead of Shiv. Nice job keeping up Slice and Dice and using Blade Furry!